I decided that I had to share what happend to me last night..so it is 4:00 in the morning of course, gosh I keep telling myself that I should go to bed no later than 1:30 but I get to surfing the net and lose track of time so I am going to write this and then to bed I shall go!
Okay so I am not a person that chills with people I normally just keep to myself and thats the way I have always been, I don't have a problem with people I just have always been what you might like to call a "Loner" I have been that way since I can recall. And I also have a problem with "wearing my heart on my sleeve" I sometimes wish that I had a heart of stone in which whatever people say or do I would have a fuck you attitude and not care..but damnit I do! So I woke up one morning and decided that I need to make some changes and try new things to make me happy so I decided that this month being May that I would try to do things differently for a change.
I have been going to school and trying to make friends but again making friends is difficult for me as I tend to revert to my old "friend making habits" as in I chose the "bad apples". So, I decided that I would just start going in the right direction of going to College to pursue my dream of becoming a Criminilist and finally getting out of the house to see if I can find people out there that have some similarities as I do!
I also have been trying to hangout downstairs with my boyfriend and I am trying to get to know my roomates more so that I can get a feel of what they are like and not be locked in my room all the damn time.
So, today I decided to go downstairs and hangout with everybody and I actually enjoyed myself laughing and joking with everybody. Then one of my roomates had her friend over that wanted her to read terot for him, she does an amazzzing job reading terot.
I decided that it had been a long time since she had read mine so I decided to ask her for a reading and she said that she would, when I sat down I was excited cause usually her cards give me advice on stuff that I am screwing up on and this time I knew that I had started to change my life for the better at least in my eyes so I figured that they would give me kudos for doing right hmm (Guess I Was Wrong..DEAD WRONG) They said that I was not only (stuck in a fantasy land cause I am not going in the right direction) But that I was lying to myself in thinking that I was doing better. So, they basically told me what I knew deep down inside but was not willing or afraid to admit to myself as I was lying to myself thinking it was all okay, So I needed to hear that. She explains what each card means and gives advice as well and she does a great job at it, I read Terot too but mine are Angel readings and those I do an excellent job on. In a way I am like her when it comes to Angel readings cause I have been doing it for a long time and with those I understand what the card is trying to say to the person with whom I am doing the reading for and I can explain it to them. I can even do over the phone readings cause I am so good..but recently like a year ago..I believe, bought me a set of Fairy Terot Cards and it is such a beautiful deck but I still don't understand how to read these ones as they are more -to-the-point as in past, present and future they also give you advice whereas my Angel cards give you more advice and guidence as what to do in your current situation and sometimes your future hardly ever your past. So, the first time I did a reading with those on one of my roomates she had to help me interpret the cards meanings as she has a better understanding of fairy cards. I even borrowed a book to learn how to read those so that I can actually start to give readings to myself at least with those cards cause they are beautiful and they are just sitting in the box that I bought for them.
My point is..is that I believe that last night with the readings it brought a better understanding between the roomates and I cause they were able to ask me questions and I was able to get my questions answered. Also because I actually hungout for a change and came right out and asked them certain stuff I believe that they respected me for it or at least they were in a better mood because of it. I hope that this is a new beginning for us and I want to follow her advice that she gave to me "The way to become closer to me is to be honest, we will except you for you, even if you are fucked up. Just be honest and we will except you" I don't remember if she said it in that way but she said those words.
Okay so I am now tired and I will blogg either tomorrow or in a few weeks..as always feel free to leave a comment as long as it is nice as I will delete if its offensive in any way- <3 to all that reads this
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